I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
