i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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