The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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