The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
