You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize