ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
