I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
