Say something about gay babies.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
