i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
