it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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