Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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