**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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