I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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