I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
