I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
