Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
