I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
only if we run a train.
done.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
