Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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