This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
