take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize