shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
