guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
