Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
