i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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