I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
