just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize