I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
