i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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