help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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