btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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