haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
