how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
