I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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