She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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