She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
