I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize