Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
