so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
