Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
