ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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