So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize