i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
