why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
