He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize