Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
