By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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