All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
