Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
