I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
