Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize