This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
