Will you blow on my dice?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize