She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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