Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
