That's intense
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
