Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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