You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
