I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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