Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
