My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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