How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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