I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
