I think I am morally bankrupt
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
