it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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